When He Returns... Part2

We'd like to warn all readers that reading this blog may result in permanent head trauma and indirect incapacity to men who claim to be Dutch... We apologize for any involuntary side effects but who have to remind you that you had been warned...

READ ON IF YOU FEEL PSYCOPATHIC ENOUGH...

[Cue music from some horror film]

What would you do if you found out that your old teacher was not
actually a teacher?

"Oh my god, no! Argh, help!"

What you you say to all those you knew?

"I don't know how to say this, but..."

What you you do...when he returns?

DUHN-DUN!!!!

In tonights episode of When he returns, we take you behind the scenes at our Research Department where our chief correspondant, script writer, typist, druggie and researcher, Fan #2, has uncovered some unsettling details about Mr McLaughlin's past.

"Well, guys, I just don't quite know how to tell you this...

"I was researching our beloved teacher on the interent when I came
across an ultimate guide for teacher reference, the popular website, otherwise
known as Rate My Teachers. I checked the grouping for our school, and he wasn't
there.

"Understandably so, since he was only there for a year and a hlaf-term.
But I believed that he deserved an account, so I followed all of the steps to
create a new teacher account, when, the unthinkable happened. This brief message
popped up on the screen:

"'We at Rate My Teachers are sorry to say that we
had to remove this person as one of our admin has reported that he/she is
not a
teacher.'"

"NOT A TEACHER?!?!?!?! OMG, Argh!"

After a brief fit, Fan #2 recovered and was able to resume his
commentary.

"So, I thought I'd try again, to check, and sure enough, the same
message appeared. My heart was in my throat."

Truly terrible news. We never believed he was a good teacher and Fan#1 and I had our doubts as to whether or not he could teach, but to find out that he couldn't teach at all? Well, that shocked us, to say the very least... Thanks for reading...

PS: As a mild incentive, those who leave comments will now officially have posts dedicated to them. Come on, comment! We'll love you forever! [Although, I don't know if that's a good thing or not... XD]

What if? Part 1 - the Wellacre Episode

Now, right at this very moment, I'm going to answer to one, extremely important question that has been burning in the back of your minds forever. What would happen if he came back? Well, in the first installment of this gripping saga, we [the McLaughlin Number #1 Fan team] are going to take a look at the thrilling story of what happened if and when McLaughlin came back!!!

[cue music from Psycho or the Shining]



Narrator: A short while back now, we caught news that our beloved
teacher had wound up at a local boys school, Wellacre, teaching the subject that
he invented, Graphic Goddamn products. At first, we didn't take it seriously. We
couldn't find him on the website at Wellacre and neither Fan #1 nor I knew
anyone from Wellacre, so there was no way of proving that. All that changed when
he arrivied.



[cue: Dunh Dunhhhhh!!!!!]



Narrator: No, not McLaughlin, but a boy from Wellacre. Yup, he arrived
and mentioned that one teacher that struck fear into all of our hearts...
MCLAUGHLIN! OMG! ARGH! He confirmed it to us on several occasions, including
listing many of the odd habits that you have heard on the absolutely amazing
blog, the stunning
blog, and a few new ones. But it was him alright.

[cue: fearful violin music that upsets everyone deeply]

Narrator: But it was the final turn of events that horrified us the
most. **** [from the ****! Ball! Bustop] incident ran into him in ... the
Trafford Centre!! OMG! That's, in case you didn't know, is only five or ten
minutes from the school from which he was sacked initially. more n this truly
devasting news in the next episode...

[cue: Absolutely irrelevant outro music, that in fact makes this entire
entry out to be the actual joke that it is!]

So what do you all think? Should we commission episode 2, or should this entire project lie in the dirt? PLEASE COMMENT! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! :)

Hello! My name is...

MCLAUGHLIN! Yup, that's his name. You can sing songs about it!

PmC that's his name That name again It's PmC!

[in case you couldn't tell, that was a poor spoof on the Mr Plow song featured in the Simpsons]

See, a song! And what a song too! Mr McLaughlin spoke about songs once. He was quite distressed about music on the whole...

"...back in my day, there was no such thing as music. If we wanted
music, folks, we had to buy an orchestra and write music for them. On the spot!
All of these new fangled things that you call 'bands' well, I'd have to say that
they don't impress me, sir. As a matter of fact, they are not impressing me.
I'll just have to reitereate that they are not impressing me at all
sir!!!"

"...Oh, before I insisted that they weren't impressing me, I must tell
you a very important thing. At the moment, there is a conspiracy. It's ultimate
top secret. In fact, it's so top secret I'm going to repeatedly bash you over
the head with a jig-saw until you forget it..."

[someone points out that it is not in fact a jig-saw that he is
brandishing, but actually something else which I, Fan #2, cannot remember the
name of]

"...Well then! I think that that is just disgraceful! You sir! My room!
3.25! T1!

MY ROOM 3:25 T1!!!!!!!!!..."

In response to that, I'd like to say... blah...