McLaughlin Mathemclauglics

Yeah, make sense of that title! Nyah! It's almost impossible to say and you'll find yourself wondering 'What the hell does that mean?'

Well, as always, we're happy to fill in the blanks and explain that it is actually McLauglin's rather odd interpretation of Mathematics. According to him...

"...Ten out of Seven people are bad at fractions..."

"...150% of people are bad at percentages..."

And, he had another yet dispicable joke, taking the thorough michael out of Liverpudlians. (Don't worry any of you out there, we are semi-liverpudlians ourselves).

"...Liverpool and Manchester United are playing against one another in the FA Cup Final. It's has ended up on penalties (yeah, unlikely, I know, Liverpool would win without even blinking...), and the penalties have been going on for ages. Both teams have gone through all of their players and even the keepers have taken one. So, The United team decided to challenge the Liverpool team to a times table competition...

"...Naturally, not wanting to be shown up by the chumpy Mancunians, they accepted, despite fully well knowing that they were as hopeless at Maths as the people in the crowds.

"'OK, we'll give you one question. Get it right, you win the match. Get it wrong, you lose'...

"'OK,' the Liverpool team reply. They select Carragher and Gerrard to answer...

"'First question, what is ... 999 multiplied by 3459384757?'...

"They were clearly stumped so Carragher just blurted out a random answer...

"' 345873849587345839485,' he said..."

"The crowd, not wanting their team to lose, yelled out..."Give them another chance!"...

"So, not wanting to seem unsporting, United accepted and this time Giggs asked...

"'What is 55 multiplied by 60?'...

"Thinking that he might actually know this one, Gerrard has a try...

"'Uh, it's 5660, likhhh,' he replied, desperately looking to the crowd. Upon having seen the United players dispondant look, they realized he was wrong again. "Give him another chance!"...

"With extreme reluctance, they did it again and really, they were getting bored. Stuff it, they thought, we've already won the Premiership. So, Scholes steps up and puts another question to them...

"' What is 3 times 5?"

"'Easy,' Gerrard cried. "15!!"

"'Give him another chance. Give him another chance!"

How long winded can you be? That was basically inferring that even if they got the answer right, the Liverpool fans (yes, that includes Fan #1 and I) thought he was wrong... Duh!

Pencil People, PENCIL!

Ah the pencil thing! If you are new to the world of McLaughlin, then this might be making you go o_O.
Fear Not! Fan #1 will explain the infamous pencil thing!!

Whenever Mr McLaughlin took our register he would never have a pencil. So instead of going and actually getting a pencil like any normal person would do, he would stand at the front of the room and call:

"Pencil people, PENCIL!"

But that's not the best part, while he did this he would tap the thumb and middle finger of his hand together rapidly. You can do it too! Just repeat the action stated above, put on your stoopidest voice and call out:

"Pencil people, PENCIL!"

Now you too can become a never having a pencil guy!

The pencil gag has become famous in the absence of Mr McLaughlin, I myself added it to my impressions of the guy, it's right up there with the Tie adjust impression, the Queen of England impression and the Boygers on Thoysday!
Maho!

The Incident with the ball and the bus stop

Yes, we're documenting the infamous 'Ball!' incident in which a student was enjoying a game of football with some friends...

"...**** [sorry, no names]! BALL! BUS STOP! CAR! WHY?

[**** stared at him for a short while before McLaughlin walked off,
apparantly taking it no further. Everyone around **** was baffled as to what
McLaughlin was babbling about and were eagerly discussing rumours when **** came
out with it...]

"Look, right, we were playing football at the bus stop and the ball
rolled away and hit Mr [History Teacher]'s car. Suddenly, McLaughlin appears and
gives me a funny look, alright. Then, he walked away. What a freak,
right?"

Yep, what a weirdo... But, whenever I know talk to **** I usually greet him by quoting this speech. Very funny indeed.

Howdy Folks

"..I managed to track down Fan #1 and Fan#2 and they gave me very kind
permission to leave a post on their rather STUNNING blog. So, I will no doubt
waste the opportunity. One day, I was in Holland and I saw Vincent Van Gogh [we
heavily edited the next part out to save you all the humiliation of hearing the
joke again. For those who haven't heard it, however few that may be, it's called
the infamous Vincent Joke, one of our first posts.]

"...Uh, I have bird flu. But here's a way to stop yourselves becoming like
draconian old me. When cooking in Chicken, first Marinade it in ... COUGH
MIXTURE! [cringe]..."

Yup, that's what he said. Live with it!

200 years...

Maho! Fan #1 here! My internet died recently so I've not benn able to contribute, but it's suddenly decided to work on my laptop today!!!
To celebrate, I'm giving out cookies!...Or I would be, except that I ATE the cookies....ahem.

Instead I'll tell another McLaughlin incident which I remembered recently:

At our school, the students sometimes do a form assembly in front of the rest of the school, but for once it seemed that the teachers were doing one. Mr McLaughlin told us about this and decided to give us a small part in the assembly. (We were...thrilled *note the sarcasam*)

"Now folks, all I want you to do is: when I ask how long I've lived in Holland, I want you all to say '200 Years!' I think it's safe to say that NONE of us were really listening to him much, so we agreed.

So we went down to assembly while Mr McLaughlin went to get ready. It turned out that the assembly was about different cultures, so one of the French teachers was stood at the front, gabbering on about god knows what in French, when he asks Mr McLaughlin to come in.

My first thought when I saw him was: "He looks like Tony The Bloody Tiger." He was dressed in orange biking gear with a orange and black stripy cycling helmet on.

He then started to go on about Holland, and then he said: "And how long have I lived in Holland?"

The response was about 7 people of the 32 in our form giving a half-hearted "200 years....." murmering off into silence.

Needless to say, we felt stoopid, Mr McLaughlin was annoyed and the rest of the school got a good laugh at our expense.

Well thats all from me for now. Pray that my net connection lives on! Maho!! XD

Oh, I should probably put in a disclaimer, Tony the Tiger is the property of Kellogs. Not Us.